then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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