'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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