He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
