Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
