I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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