A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
