I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
