honey bunches of taint.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
