they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
