Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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