So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
