I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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