when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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