I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
