we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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