i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
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I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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