You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
