I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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