I swear she didn't look like that last week.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
