You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
only if we run a train.
done.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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