Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
