Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
