this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
