i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
