Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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