so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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