Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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