I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
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I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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