yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
