I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
