there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
love makes seman taste better
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
