I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
They should really pass out barf bags in church
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
