The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize