It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
