Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
