I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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