he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
