If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize