one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
