Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
