it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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