Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
