i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
