So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
