my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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