i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
