is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Alive.
So much puke
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
