Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
