party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Be still, my beating vagina.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
