My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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