South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
