forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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