Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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