My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
its not stalking. its research.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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