She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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