Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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