Are we in a gay sports bar?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
