woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
