haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
