____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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