Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
