we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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