i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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